I keep listing off all of the “to do’s” in my head, and then I start freaking out and I have to stop. It goes like this, “Okay, I have to get the bus registered. But to do that, I need to get it inspected. But to get it inspected I need to get the windshield wipers fixed. And maybe new tires. I need to get someone else to look at those tires. Oh, and get the brakes fixed. Shit, I need money. Okay, I’ll just sell my car. But first I have to put the car in the shop. And take pictures. And advertise it. I need to “stage” the bus as an RV and take pictures too. And if I have to drive the bus during all of this, try not to get pulled over or the bus will get impounded.” And that’s when I start freaking out.
The R.A.G.E. Bus Project is scheduled to set sail on June 3rd, 2013. On the 3rd, I plan on getting into the Captains seat and pointing Bessie North, no matter how prepared any of us are. I feel like if we don’t just DO IT, then we will never do it. I’m holding hands with both Caitlin and Natalie, and we are all going to jump off of this big cliff together, on June 3rd. It’s happening!!!
Right now the bus is at a shop in the cutest small town in Texas called Wimberley. Jesse the Mechanic is going to work his self-proclaimed “superman” magic and fix the windshield wiper and the brakes (including new air tanks). I feel a sense of relief with the bus being in the shop. I have handed over the bus to someone else, and it is out of my hands now. Not having the bus sitting in the driveway crying for me to come play with her has freed me up to focus on other things, like selling my car!
Today I made an attempt to get the bus title put into my name. The DMV office refused, saying that the VIN on the bus is already being used on an old farm trailer somewhere else in Texas. So one of us must be lying. I have to go back to the office with a picture of the VIN on the bus to verify the number. Little road bumps along the way just make the ride more fun, right?
The progress seems slow, but every day I am checking something off of that list in my head. If I keep this up, I think we will be ready in three weeks. But it doesn’t matter, because we are leaving whether we are ready or not!
We just finished the hardest part of this entire project, the thing I have been dreading from the very beginning; moving out of R.O.O.T.S. EcoVillage. Leaving our collective behind is the hardest thing I have done in a long time. R.O.O.T.S. is forever my home in my heart. Yesterday, we shoved everything that we own into the bus and pulled out of the driveway, all of us crying and touching everything we could as we left. Now we are stationed out at Natalie’s parents house outside of Austin so we can focus on the bus without having to worry about bills or chores or drama taking our energy. So our home right now is a little room in the back of Natalie’s dads shop. Most people would probably consider this room to be a large closet, too small to really call it a bedroom. Maybe I am just used to my 500 sq ft efficiency at R.O.O.T.S., which was small for three girls! Now our room is maybe 1/5th of that size. We are sharing a pair of mattresses on the floor (3 girls, 2 dogs, and a cat). It’s very cuddly. A big cuddle fest every single night. All of our clothes are hanging on a pole between a ladder and a shelf, just inches above our faces. If I roll over in my sleep, the ends of belts and dresses tickle my face.
I can feel the energy building as we get closer to the beginning. My anticipation is growing. I keep meeting people that tell me that we are “special people” and we are doing “great things” and while I believe them, I feel very bewildered by it, and worried about trying to meet an expectation that others might be setting for me. I keep reminding myself to let go of it, and just focus on the love. I breathe it in, and I absorb it all into my lungs and my bones and let it vibrate through me, and then I give it back.
Keep spreading the love,